Mr. Perdue, in the study, with the mouse cord?

Mr. Perdue, in the study, with the mouse cord?

GSA's Gary Winters, in the role of the butler Jeeves, informs the crowd of the convoluted history of the manor and the mysterious events of the day.

Outgoing AFFIRM president Ira Hobbs, seated, is introduced during the group's annual dinner by his successor, Emory Miller.
There's no other way to put it: It was a dark and stormy night. The rain fell like Web hits on the Starr Report, pelting the stately old-money mansion overlooking the Potomac River.

And the guests arriving in formal attire were the usual suspects: CIO types, IRM types, agents of industry. Everyone you'd expect in this circle of society.

They came to honor Ira Hobbs, not to bury him. But word was there'd be a burial anyway because of 'an incident at the manor' earlier that day.

'We are one of the most decentralized agencies in existence. We used to be called the Department of Everything.'

'Sue Ellen Sloca of the
Interior Department [Page 13]

'STARS, like most FAA modernization programs, has suffered through poor management, bad decisions and unrealistic goals.'

'Rep. John Mica (R-Fla.), chairman of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Subcommittee on Aviation [Page 15]

The old dame upstairs got herself strangled with a mouse cord. The clues were scarce, the suspects legion. Or so the butler would have you believe.

The plot thickens ... or, at least, the crowd does as guests sip cocktails, munch on hors d'oeuvres and chew over the facts of the case.
Now the guests were in place. The libidinous domestic staff lurked by the doors, casting meaningful glances and aspersions. The greedy relations and a shifty family lawyer waited in the wings. A rooster crowed. The evening was ready to play out '

The Association for Federal Information Resources Managers held its annual President's Dinner and Dance less than a fortnight ago in Oxon Hill, Md., adding a comedic murder-mystery twist to the event. AFFIRM members acted out the parts in the intrigue, serving red herring with dry humor, while taking care of the official business at hand.

Incoming AFFIRM vice president Debra Stouffer chats with GSA's G. Martin Wagner, left, and the Office of Management and Budget's Bill McVay.
The dinner honored outgoing AFFIRM president Ira Hobbs, acting chief information officer of the Agriculture Department, and welcomed incoming president and former vice president Emory Miller, director of information technology profession-al development for the General Services Administration. Debra Stouffer, director of the Housing and Urban Development Department's Office of IT Reform, was introduced as Miller's successor.

Oh, and the incident at the manor. Turns out there was another twist: They hung the rap on a 7-foot chicken.

That's the official story, but it smells like a frame-up. After all the working lunches and dinners these people have been to, you just know they had it in for the chicken.

'Kevin McCaney


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