'Did you hear...'

On the campaign trail. While the politicos stumble all over each other, www.geekforpresident.com stays in one place to make his campaign promises: 'I will never bow to political pressure from lobbyists. I promise to screw up your life entirely on my own without any help from overpaid experts. I will never drive an M1-A1 Abrams tank or pilot a jet fighter.' The Geek cleverly posts his e-mail address as info (at) geekforpresident.com, to confuse spambots looking for the @ symbol.

How much annoying jargon on your agency's Web site? Find out by smurfing it, at [email protected]. A search of Whitehouse.gov yields the fascinating headline, 'President smurfs troops.' one of CIA.gov leads to 'releases more than 5 million smurfs of declassified records.' And at FBI.gov: 'Canadian smurf gets 10 years for $12 million telemarketing scam.' In smurfese, 'government' gets changed to 'gargamel.'

Phrightfully phunny. Ever been the victim of online identity theft? Visit www.anti-phishing.org for info, horror stories and help from the Federal Trade Commission.

Survey snipers.
Columbia University's 10th annual ethics survey last month concluded with this paranoia-provoking paragraph: 'We have been asked by the Institutional Review Board, which operates under U.S. federal regulation, to identify any possible risks to you in responding to this survey. Although we do not specifically ask for sensitive information, it is possible for you to supply some in open-ended responses. If your employer monitors your e-mail, this could cause problems with your employer.' Who needs that kind of grief? Just send your rumors to us at [email protected].

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