'Did you hear...'

Just because you're paranoid... Overly suspicious people worried about surveillance cameras and privacy invasions via the Internet may have thought they at least had protected themselves from invasive radio signals with trusty aluminum foil helmets. Think again, citizens. A group of grad student researchers at MIT, exploring a gap in security scholarship, earlier this year tested three popular designs of the foil helmets'the Classical, the Fez and the Centurion'and produced disturbing results. Their 'Empirical Study' (www.gcn.com, GCN.com/516) found that while the double-layer helmets tended to weaken most radio frequencies, they actually amplified others. And it just so happens that those frequencies are among the ones the Federal Communications Commission has set aside for government use. The National Security Agency, generally believed by said suspicious people to be in charge of satellite thought-monitoring, declined to comment on the research. The researchers logically conclude that such helmets 'may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities' and suggest that the government 'started the helmet craze for this reason.' Like we didn't already know that. The researchers suggest that paranoids make better hats. We suggest you beam your thoughts to us at [email protected].

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