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By GCN Staff

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Spam as economic stimulus

As a taxpayer, I must say I am looking forward to receiving my rebate check from the federal government in May.

How would I spend it? Already thoughts of a Garmin Global Positioning System device were dancing in my head. Or maybe I would just blow it all on a night on the town, or go crazy at the shoe store. Or maybe I would just save it.

Yeah, right.

Then I started to clean out my spam folder. Lo and behold, I was being flooded with offers from government officials in an assortment of African nations who wanted to deposit millions of dollars directly into my account.

Since Feb. 4, I've received combined offers of $27.5 million from Uganda, Ivory Coast, Nigeria and Benin.

No waiting around for a paltry $600 rebate check to show up in the mail. These officials were ready to wire me the money in cold, hard U.S. dollars, in exchange for a few identifying details.

Think of what I could do! I could buy my dream house. And imagine the fab car! Goodbye, 1B bus to Falls Church! Heck, I could buy the 1B bus to Falls Church. I could become a generous philanthropist, feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless. I could become the Oprah of computer journalists, giving out cars and fruit baskets to everyone in the newsroom.

If everyone checked their spam folder, I'm sure most people would find at least a few million in offers from other nations, and the looming economic catastrophe would be averted. Once again, we would be the fastest-growing economy in the world.

And believe me, we'll have no trouble spending every dime those generous souls across the sea send us.

Posted by Trudy Walsh on Feb 12, 2008 at 9:39 AM


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